Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
I think a cigarette would best help
to describe how i feel,
I'd sit on my patio with my legs drawn
up under me, I'd lean against something
in the grey damp of november
and I'd smoke and let tears fall
as i watch the air
for invisible particles.
paricles of smoke, city grime and of me.
watch the sky for a bomb
smoke
draw and let the tears itch and dry
on my cheeks
that would be the end of detached me,
and I'd burn it and inhale,
how appropriate,
and the taste would stay with me,
my hands my hair, acrid.
cigarette. submitted to poetry.com, with typos
Add a Comment:
 
:iconejadeg:
EJadeG Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2012  Student Writer
I like this poem a lot :)
And you know, I understand why people thing smoking is bad. It's like a slow suicide. But I also think if someone wants to smoke, you should just let them, rather than giving them the same guilt trip about their health that everyone else gives them XD You know? Man, I can only imagine how sick smokers must get of hearing that...
Reply
:iconspecialbrowniessama:
SpecialBrowniesSama Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
Ugh, believe me, I get it. We know cigarettes are bad for us, so I wish people would lay the crap off. XD Seriously.
Reply
:iconejadeg:
EJadeG Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Student Writer
Right? Like when I hear someone preaching to a smoker /I/ get offended!
Reply
:iconspecialbrowniessama:
SpecialBrowniesSama Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
It's really weird. Let people smoke if they wanna smoke, right?
Reply
:iconejadeg:
EJadeG Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Student Writer
Totslly. As long as they don't smoke in inappropriate places, they're fine.
Reply
:iconspecialbrowniessama:
SpecialBrowniesSama Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
Like, it is offensive if somebody is smoking with no thought about how the smoke could be going to other people (like secondhand smoke) it's really annoying. But in the right places, it's totally okay, right?
Reply
:iconretrogent:
RetroGent Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2011
Im glad that i'm not the only person who feels that cigarettes can convey feeling with a sense of art =)
Reply
:iconsparkleinmyeye:
SparkleInMyEye Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
:heart: I loved it
Reply
:iconopen-eyed-facets:
Open-Eyed-Facets Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2011
<3. That is all.
Reply
:icon1234xo:
1234xo Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2010
:heart:
Reply
:iconsteampoweredlife:
SteamPoweredLife Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2010
Why is it so important that smoking is bad? Yeah, it is. From many points of view... But for an artist, NOTHING is wrong. You can write about death, alcohol, cigarettes, sex and do them all(except death, i don't think you could write about it after you try it, lol xD).
I don't smoke either but i tried only to see the feeling. The king of feeling you were trying to give in this amazing work of art.
Art is free and open to any subject and any point of view, the only purpose being the ART itself, nothing more.
Reply
:iconungrateful-dead:
ungrateful-dead Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2010
I love this; the whole thing is just written so... I don't know. Straightforwardly, and yet it's very detached. :+fav:
Reply
:iconchains-of-limerence:
chains-of-limerence Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I think that this is beautiful.
Reply
:iconrozcelle:
Rozcelle Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2009
+fav

i love what you did with OUR cancer sticks

i do the same thing too, smoking, like everyday.
Reply
:iconsorrow-d:
sorrow-d Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2009
um.. there are no words

+fav

it's just amazing
Reply
:iconbulldozzzzer:
BullDozzzzer Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2009
Aww man this poem is awesome. It refelects me if I sit on my windowsil and just smoke, y'know? :D
Reply
:iconistealsmiles:
istealsmiles Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2008
Smoking is totally cool and this poem is totally awesome.

'nuff said.
Reply
:icontim1210:
Tim1210 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2008
i'm surprised to hear you've never actually smoked... cuz you were pretty much spot on
Reply
:iconsaydahlia:
sayDahlia Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2008
Honestly, I love this.
Reply
:iconredheaded1:
RedHeaded1 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
This is amazing.
You are a brilliant writer.
Reply
:iconjunelee:
junelee Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2008
I don't smoke either, but somehow I'm fascinated by it... I like your poem. :)
Reply
:iconxtastexofxinkx:
xtastexofxinkx Featured By Owner May 18, 2008
wow. I love this.
and for never have smoking you got the feeling of it down pretty right.
Reply
:icondrwick:
DRWick Featured By Owner May 14, 2008  Student General Artist
I like the idea of searching for particles and the bomb; very good juxtaposition.

Also, I cant believe how many sarcastic comments about smoking you got... doesn't matter if the artist smokes or not; they should be worried about reading and understanding your work, not judging your vices.

And yeah, I know it says you never smoked. I'm just saying even if you had or did, you shouldn't get ridiculed for it.

Anyway, the point is I love this piece and I think you did an excellent job of describing a habit you don't partake in. =)
Reply
:iconyourownending:
yourownending Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2006
A cigarette IS relaxing and you wrote about it beautifully and really accurately described the feeling, right down to the nasty smell left on your fingers.

I love how you're trying to get detachment and the smell just stays with you. So beautiful.
Reply
:iconyourownending:
yourownending Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2006
A cigarette IS relaxing and you wrote about it beautifully and really accurately described the feeling, right down to the nasty smell left on your fingers.

I love how you're trying to get detachment and the smell just stays with you. So beautiful.
Reply
:iconxclockwork:
xclockwork Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2006
Smoking is bad: then again, I read those comments where you said you've never done it so I don't really feel the need to make stupid sarcastic remarks.

I love the way this is written, from the line-breaks to the metaphor.
I like the way you said 'I'd lean against something' instead of telling what exactly you'd lean against, giving it a more abstract feeling: a desire, instead of a plan. And just the fact that you've never smoked makes it even better, because instead of thinking about how, oh, smoking is relaxing, or something like that, the reader is thinking more about the allure of a cigarette and the feeling that generally goes with one.

I myself often imagine myself with a cigarette between two fingers, after saying certain things or doing certain things or feeling certain things, which is why I am going to favourite this. Cheers.
Reply
:iconbrighteyes0702:
BrightEyes0702 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2004   Photographer
really great.
i like the way you wrote it-- very metaphorical and very descriptive

i've never actually smoked, but you make it sound pretty damn cool :D
Reply
:iconpersonaldecay:
personaldecay Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2004   Interface Designer
well i never have either and its probably pretty sick
Reply
:iconbrighteyes0702:
BrightEyes0702 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2004   Photographer
yea, thats what i hear
Reply
:iconmorphineseason:
morphineseason Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2004
smoking cigarettes is rad. i love how it makes me cough. oh, and the whole lung cancer thing is awesome too.
Reply
:iconcookiesnmilk:
cookiesnmilk Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2010
LOL
Reply
:iconaudiophile:
audiophile Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2004
i don't have much to say about this.

um, +fav.

its perfect.
Reply
:iconpersonaldecay:
personaldecay Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2004   Interface Designer
hey thanks.
i dont smoke, never have.
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

Featured in Collections

Literature by AkeAkatsuki

.textos. by koche-apc


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
March 7, 2004
File Size
708 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,810
Favourites
82 (who?)
Comments
33
×